Doing my Best
This year. Golly. It just keeps kicking my tuccas. Just when I think hey, maybe I can get back to normal...whatever that is..or was...nope. here's something else. I'm trying. I really really am. That's all a person can do right? I don't look to what I want to do next year anymore. Not even next month. Heck not even tomorrow. I have been dealing with the absolute worst brutal pain I have ever had to endure in my entire life, and at this point, honestly speaking all I can do is count the time down to when I can take my next meds. I had posted this picture above on my Instagram on 11 October! Woo hoo...starting a new panel...yay! meh. I worked a little of the hill...but wasn't too jazzed about it because I cant blasted SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. This stupid macular degeneration...my eyes are so wonky. I got new glasses, and thought they were great, but when it actually comes to stitching, I find I have to look to the side of what I want to focus on, in order to see it. It's very maddening.
Then I had to have a wisdom tooth pulled, things went south from there, and for the past how many 11 or 12 days all I can do is sit and twitch and writhe in pain. Thanks to a round of steroids, it is FINALLY starting to ease...enough that I was well enough to go get another endometrial biopsy yesterday. While I was waiting to leave, pacing around, I decided to work this little tree. I have always loved the long french knot leaves on the original 17th c panels and wanted my tree to look like those. It doesn't. nothing new there LOL
One of the reasons it doesn't is because of the scale. It's too tiny. Could there be such a thing as too tiny? Ya, I think so. It's cute..but not how I wanted it to look. Am I going to take it out? HELL NO. The old me would have ripped the occasional thing out if I didn't like it. The me of now? Nope. She doesn't rip anything out, cause every stitch is its own little triumph. I don't really like the colours of the hillocks...don't really like this tree. But once everything else is on the panel, they will fit in just fine, and I will have this first ever long leg french knot hideous looking tree to compare with later ones I am going to make that
will look better. I don't have time for ripping things out anymore.
It is easy to obsess and become hyper-focused on single elements as we stitch. Sometimes it's hard to envision the big picture...and that once all the glam is piled on, nobody is going to notice this hideous little tree...or a slight imperfection we ourselves pick out. I am going to take some sage advice from one of my children's role models growing up...and I'm going to
Just keep Swimming...Just keep Swimming.. until this casket carries me through to next year. Baby steps. I'll get there. YOU'LL get there.
Happy Stitching XOXO
2 comments:
I grantee that next year when you look at this piece again, even if you don't add another stitch, it won't look as bad as you think it does today.
If you do stitch more on it, by next year you won't be able to find what had you so pissed off about that little tree.
Look at it with tomorrows eyes.
I have put things away, sometimes for years. When I picked them up later, my head was in a better place to be creative and finish them.
Give yourself some grace. When you are, or were, in pain and not feeling yourself it can throw off your "Mojo".
Hope you're feeling better by now! You know my "go-to" for my quilts, embellishment!! If there's a spot that doesn't quite meet my expectations (a seam doesn't meet another one as it should), put a BUTTON on it, no one will know or care that there's something under it that is driving me crazy! Then add a few more and it will look like it's supposed to be there. You've got TINY beads.....fix your tree with some TINY pine cones, one bead per cone! Personally,I like your tree!! LY, Mom
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