Life is nothing without Family and Friends
I don't know where to start, so I guess I'll just jump right in. First I want to apologize to all my faithful readers that I have not posted in so long. This year has been a challenge. On my last blog post, I was excited and getting ready to go to Williamsburg Va for an embroidery seminar. I was excited on the outside, but I had been struggling for some while, just not feeling well. I can remember joking to Lamora that I was so sick, but needed to get my order done for the seminar so was painting all hunched over on my stool because I couldn't sit up straight, the pain and cramps were too bad. Did I listen to my body??? noooooo I did not. I got my order done and strangely enough, instead of taking it with me on the plane like I usually do, I mailed it in. Even my angels were talking to me secretly and I wasn't listening.
Three days before my flight in Feb I spent the day in the ER, never got to Williamsburg, and the rest is a blur. Long story short, I had a coconut size tumor removed and am now sitting here in MAY, looking down at a scar that runs from my sternum to my nethers, trying to realize where the time has gone. It actually seems like YEARS have gone by in these months. I am still having panic attacks, but I feel one coming on and can push it out of my mind. I know what one is now, I wish I didn't.
Each night I pray for strength, and understanding, sometimes for more patience, and more compassion. The Creator does not have a magic wand and just swoosh, here your prayer is answered. It doesn't work like that. He throws situations and tests at you...things that will teach you more compassion, or more patience, or more love, more kindness. Kinds of things that show you how much others love you, and how much you really love those others.
I hope I passed my test. I hope I learned what I was supposed to, because I really dont think I have it in me to go again. I love my family & friends more than words can express. There are no words of thanks that even come close to how I feel on the inside. I have always thought in my mind that I would live to be 100. I never even thought twice about it....until these last couple months when I was honestly hoping I would just get to 51. Ya, 51 in Sept would be great. One more trip home to see my parents, one more summer, two daughters getting married. My surgery went great, I got the best surgical oncologist and he ripped that coconut right out of there and now news is great and I am back to shooting for 100 again. I got a lot planned, so I need to get busy. I have slept more in these past few months than I have in years..but I'm not dwelling. I am feeling better each day and am starting to feel like my old self again.
The ETSY store will be closed a little while longer as I am still not driving and not lifting. I will be opening enrollment soon for another running of the Gummed Silk and Poft Oak classes, and long awaited padded interiors class. Soon, I promise!
Sorry to hear of your medical issue, but very happy to hear you are on the mend. I enjoy your blog and your artistry.
ReplyDeleteOh Rachael, I wondered why we hadn't heard from you in a while. I am so very sorry about your health woes, but glad that you're back and have that fighting spirit! I hope you're kind, compassionate and gentle with yourself so that you can get your strength back. You have so much to offer the embroidery world and you generously give to enrich our lives and for that we thank you. Take care now. Molly
ReplyDeleteTake it easy, please! We will still be out here, how ever long it takes, for your body to heal properly.
ReplyDeleteYour talent is a needed and unique one that we can wait for.
Be gentile with yourself, take it slow, your doctors had to cut you in half to fix you! That does not heal quickly.
Your brain needs time to wrap itself around this as well. It will take a while to get used to your new body, it will take a year or two for you to understand this new body and what you can do.
Be kind to yourself, this is difficult to do at the best of times.
You have been through a trauma. this was traumatic. It's OK to be traumatized by it.
Now I know for sure you're feeling better and not just saying so. You're back to "blogging". Whoo Hoo! Love you!!! Mom
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you've gone through all of this. You have friends all over the world who are wishing you well
ReplyDeleteI was so very sorry to read of what you have been going through Rachael and wish you all the very best for a speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteSending lots of love, Jo xxxx